Book Review of “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown
May 27th, 2011 by Diane Conklin under Diane's Book Reviews. No Comments.
I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself over the past year or so and a colleague and friend put a video up of Brene Brown a few months ago and after watching it I knew I had to have more of her because she was talking about things I was working on. This book didn’t disappoint.
Brene Brown is a writer and researcher at the University of Houston Graduate College. Don’t let that discourage you from reading this book or getting to know Brene better. She’s funny and writes in a way that is captivating and so relatable because she talks about things we’ve all felt, all said to ourselves and all struggled with. And, she gives you real solutions for dealing with those issues.
Brene talks about a concept she calls “Wholehearted Living” and she stresses the fact that no matter what you do or don’t do, who you are, where you live, what you do for a living, etc., that you are enough, and that you are worthy of love and belonging. Wow, what a concept.
We’re all so busy judging ourselves and never being satisfied with what we accomplish or finish in a day, a week, a month or a year that we forget to just give ourselves credit for what we did do. And, we always accomplish more than we think we do and certainly more than we give ourselves credit for.
Brene talks about Courage, Compassion, and Connection as being the gifts of imperfection and says that when we’re willing to be imperfect in our lives that these are the gifts that just keep giving.
Here is the part that rang so true for me that I had to put the book down for a few minutes to fully absorb and process.
“Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line.” How many times do we resist being vulnerable, try to put on the strong face, not ask for help and try to handle everything ourselves because we don’t want to be vulnerable or show weakness?
The fact is, that when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable with other people, it typically strengthens our relationship with them. It was such an interesting concept to me because one of the things that has been showing up in my life a lot lately is that the more authentic I am, the more I put myself out there, and the more I am just me, with my moles, and being overweight and all the other flaws, the more people seem to be drawn to me. Proof positive that your vulnerabilities have more meaning to you than to anybody else – probably because we’re all so concerned about our own stuff that we don’t have the time or energy to think about other’s issues very much.
These things just make us that much more relatable to everyone…our friends, our families, our clients, our colleagues, etc.
The ten guideposts in the book are very enlightening and thought provoking and the fact that Brene shares her research and stories from that, as well as her own stories as she lets you see some of her life and struggles, are just a couple of the things that make this book such a great read.
I leave you with these final thoughts from Brene:
“However afraid we are of change, the question that we must ultimately answer is: What’s the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?”
For me, the risk of losing myself seems far more dangerous that the risk of letting people see the real me.
What I’m Working On Since Reading The Book:
I am trying very hard now to:
- Stop Pretending That Everything Is Ok When It’s Not
- Acknowledge That My Story Matters Because I Matter
- Laugh, Sing & Dance More, & Not Care Who’s Watching, How Silly I Look or What Others Think (I don’t always have to be cool or in control)
- Get Rid of My “Supposed To’s”
- Be More Joyful and Show More Gratitude
- Let Go of My Perfectionism
- Be Aware of My Feelings & Deal With Them Instead of Ignoring Them By Working or Staying Busy
These are just a few of the things I’m working on and I would be honored if you shared some of yours with me as well.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
